A birthday I will always remember...

Yesterday Blake was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Not a great way to spend my birthday. On Thursday night he had his lab work done.  I laid awake all night, I could not sleep because in my gut I knew he had diabetes. The constant peeing every 10 minutes, always thirsty and hungry, belly aches and dry hands. On Thursday afternoon I checked his blood sugar with Brooklyn's meter he tested 244, I checked him two hours later he was 390. I checked for ketones, he had none so he wasn't in any immediate danger. The first person I called was my sister in law Amber, her son also has diabetes. She understands the worry and stress that comes with taking care of child with diabetes. She cried with me on the phone, because we both knew what this meant. I was trying to convince myself he did not have diabetes, I thought maybe it was just a fluke and he had two bad readings. The next morning  I met with Brooklyn's Endocrinologist to go over Blake's lab work that we had done the night before. The minute I walked in she hugged and me and I started crying again! She sat down with me and said he did in fact have diabetes. I kept thinking I shouldn't be this upset, I know how to manage diabetes.  But this time is different, now that I have taken care of Brooklyn's diabetes for almost 1 year I know how emotional and hard it is. It almost seemed worse this time. Taking care of 1 diabetic child can be really hard. The thought of having another child have this disease is overwhelming. I realize there are worse diagnoses then diabetes, but it's still a really challenging disease for a child and parent that you never get a break from.

When I picked up Brooklyn and Weston from school yesterday I was really sad.  Brooklyn asked what was wrong, and I told her. She looked at me, her eyes all watered up and said "Mom, the scientist have to find a cure for Blake, they don't need to give me the cure but Blake needs it. He's too little have to have diabetes".  I starting crying again, what a special little girl I have. The rest of the day, she kept trying to make me happy for my birthday. She said something else yesterday that made me smile, she said "Mom, I know how much work it is for you to take care of me, so I'm going to start making my own lunches in morning for school. I will measure my own food, count the carbs and write them on the post-note for the school nurse. I will learn how to change my own pump site too. Then you will only have to take care of Blake and not me." Tears again! 

So we are on day #2 with starting Blake on insulin shots, counting his carbs and him being a on a schedule of when he eats. It will be hard for a 4 year old, he is a snacker and loves to eat. He won't be able to just go grab something in the pantry anymore without asking. He has been pretty brave with the shots, not as emotional as Brooklyn when she was first diagnosed. So that's been nice. When I check Brooklyn's BG at 2:00am she sleeps right through it, I checked Blake's last night and he woke right up. Gosh, I hope he doesn't wake up everynight. It took him 10 minutes to decide between a "Cars" bandaide or "Toy Story".  I laid awake all night thinking about Blake and how the next few weeks will be for him with all the changes. It will be hard for him. He asked this morning when he can can get a pump like Brooklyn, I said not for a while. Brooklyn pipes in and said he can use mine! I will go back to shots:)

I miss the days where I could send my kids to bed and all of us could sleep through the night worry free. My sleep and Rich's sleep has not been the same for a year, the worry of Brooklyn and now Blake going low in the night makes sleep not as enjoyable and not as sound. 

It always helps me to count my blessings when I'm given challenges that seem too hard, I have been blessed with so much.  Blake will still be the happy goofy kid that adds so much personality to our family and Brooklyn will have a new diabetes buddy right at home, she's not alone in this anymore. It will be good for them to have eachother. 

Blake with his Rufas Diabetes Bear

Brooklyn teaching her little brother everything she knows.