Brooklyn turns 8

Happy Birthday to Brooklyn! We had a fun little weekend together. She had breakfast in bed on Friday morning(her actual birthday) then on Saturday we had soccer games and me and her headed to the mall to get her ears pierced. She has been looking forward to wearing earrings for so long! She didn't even make a peep when she got them done. After she got her ears pierced, she had a $5.00 dollar manicure. She loved that. Then we came home and had dinner and birthday cake. She requested a cheesecake with strawberries w/ whipped cream. After we ate, she changed into her baptism dress and my friend Heather took some pictures of her at the Albuquerque temple. She felt like a princess in her pretty white dress, she was glowing the entire time. She can hardly wait for her baptism day next month, she's getting baptized on Rich's gradation date. I'm not planning on wearing mascara that day:)

Time Out for Women

This weekend I was able to go to Time Out for Women for the first time.  The speakers were funny and entertaining and the music was so inspiring. I took away a lot from this conference and learned a lot. This conference couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I've been feeling completely overwhelmed with everything lately.  Rich is coming very close to graduation which is sooo exciting but at the same time it's been stressful as he prepares for his boards and searches for a job. Saying that Rich is stressed is a understatement. We are really hopeful that Idaho will be our home but still haven't had any job offers, so we've started searching for jobs all over. I didn't have the best attitude in the beginning about searching for jobs outside of Idaho, I want to be close to my family. I miss them a lot. Then to make things a little bit more challenging at a already stressful time Blake gets diagnosed with type 1 diabetes while I am in my first trimester of our 5th baby. So I was not feeling my best.

Surprise were pregnant! We are due September 17th. 

 To back track a little bit I remember coming home from my brother-in-laws funeral telling myself I would never complain about my life and my trivial problems ever again. The weight and responsibilities that my sister has raising her children without her husband made me feel like I could never complain again about anything. I quickly learned that it was really hard to not complain when things don't go our way. When I had a negative thought my mind quickly went to her and everything that she was going through, and sometimes I would be able to change that negative into a positive and sometimes I couldn't.  I'm also learning that my trials will never be as big and life changing as Holly's but they are still trials and they are still hard.  The words that were spoken at this conference felt like that were meant for me, and I felt and still feel so much peace that everything will work out. The Lord has a plan for our family, and it's hard not knowing what's going to happen and it may not be how I thought things would end up, but I now have faith that he will take care of us. He will not leave us jobless or homeless(which is a recurring dream I have) I  feel very at peace that if we don't end up near family it will be ok. He knows what's best for us.

Rich's last day of school is April 6th, 3 weeks left! I have dreamed about seeing him in his cap in gown for so long, I can't believe it's just around the corner. I have made friends here that I'll never forget and I'll miss a lot.  I'm so grateful to be here right now, we may not have fallen in love with New Mexico but it's been so worth being here so I could meet these wonderful ladies that I am so lucky to call my friends. 

We got our picture taken with Jenny Oaks Baker, she was just nominated for a Grammy. I have never heard someone play a violin like her, I could have stayed there all night listening to her play. It was awesome. We also got to hear Hilary Weeks sing and speak. I grew up listening to her as a youth, so it was neat to see her in person and enjoy her talents. 

On Friday night after the conference we all went to Route 66  diner for dessert but ended up splurging and getting a full meal. We ate and visited until almost midnight. So much fun!

One year ago today

 So, it's been one year ago today that Brooklyn was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  I feel like I've learned so much this past year but I am constantly still learning.  Brooklyn been a absolute trooper through all of this. She has her ups and down, someday's diabetes feels it's no big deal. And other days she absolutely HATES having to deal with this each and every day. I really don't blame her. I'm grateful that Brooklyn is open with me about her feelings and how she deals with all of this. She is a letter writer, she often leaves notes on my bed of what she's feeling. The other day she wrote me note saying she just wanted a break from diabetes, from all of it. I wish I could give her a break, or even take away this auto-immune disease. It always helps when we count her blessings, but at the same time I don't want to discount her feelings about her resenting this disease. We talk about how scientist are working on a cure right now. A artificial pancreases is being tested, and they are also currently working on finding a complete cure by implanting new Islet cells into the pancreas that will start producing insulin. Hearing about these studies that are going on gives our family hope and that someday Brooklyn can get her a permanent break from all of this.

Right now she's been pretty emotional with how other kids at school can eat and snack on food all they want. They don't have to count carbs, or have their food weighed and measured out. They don't have to go to the nurses room each day to get tested and bolused for their food. They don't have to deal with low and high blood sugars and the symptoms that come with it. She just wants to be like all the other kids and not have to worry about all these things.

She did get a pump last summer, what a blessing that has been. No more shots! She just has to change her site every 3 days, and that's almost painless.

Lately she has also felt very alone with having diabetes, she's the only kid in her school with it. She's not alone any more with Blake just getting diagnosed.  As much as I wish Blake didn't have to have struggle with this, it will be really nice for them to have this in common so they don't feel alone in this.

I often think about how grateful I am for insulin, and that it's available to me. Without it, Brooklyn and Blake would not be alive. One day there will be a cure for diabetes and I'm confident that Brooklyn and Blake will be able to be here to be apart of it. What a happy day that will be for our family and for everyone who has this auto-immune disease. Until then, we will keep doing what were doing. We are all happy and healthy, we have good days and bad and those bad days make us stronger I'm sure of it.

March 7th, 2011 in the E.R.
I remember we were in the E.R all night waiting for a room to become available.