Last Monday Brooklyn was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. We have been trying to figure out what has been wrong with Brooklyn for quite some time. We were relieved to finally get a diagnosis, but I was completely caught off guard with this news. Brooklyn was admitted to the hospital for 4 days to get her started on insulin and to get her blood sugars regulated. It was really hard for me to watch Brooklyn get so much blood work done, and get insulin shots 4 times a day and watch her little fingers get pricked with each meal and before bedtime. It was the hardest week of my life and I didnt think I could handle another day of watching her cry and beg the nurses to stop giving her shots. It literally felt like my heart was breaking. I don't think I've ever felt this sad in my entire life. I wasn't doing a very good job as a mom holding it together either, when she cried I cried. I thought taking care of 4 healthy kids was plenty hard, I didnt think I could handle this new challenge.
Rich and I started the education classes at the hospital, nothing was sinking in for me. The diabetes educator, doctor and the nurses used words that I didn’t understand. It also didn't help that I wasn't sleeping at night, I read pamphlets and books that the doctors were giving me all night and then when I tried to sleep I couldn't stop thinking about how this was going to change my life and Brooklyn's life forever. As much as I wanted to leave the hospital, I wanted to stay there at the same time because I knew we were safe there. I felt completely inadequate to be able to take Brooklyn home and care for her.
In the hospital we shared a room with another little girl that had just had her tonsils removed, she was expected to go home the next day. As I looked over at this mom and her daughter I was jealous. I thought... this little girl will go home and recover and my little girl will go home and have to get shots her entire life. It seemed so unfair. The following day I took Brooklyn to the kids play center at the hospital and she sat next to this little boy who appeared to have cancer. I immediately felt grateful for Brooklyn's diagnosis and my attitude started to change. Brooklyn will live and long and happy life she just has to take extra steps each day to stay healthy and feel good.
My sister-in-law Amber called me and asked if I wanted her to come for a visit and help me with Brooklyn. She has a son that was diagnosed with diabetes 3 years ago, so she had been in my place before and knows how overwhelming it is. I told her that I would be ok, but deep down I wanted to scream on the phone "Yes please come help me!" I think she sensed in my voice that I wanted her to come, so she did. She flew out from North Carolina and was here before Brooklyn was discharged from the hospital. Amber came to the rescue, she taught me so much and made me feel like I could do this. We had very late nights of her teaching me the basics of how to take care of a diabetic child. More and more information was sinking into my head and I was feeling a little more confident that I could handle this. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her help.
We are slowly getting a routine back into our home and adjusting to all of this. This is a how are day goes...
7:00am - Check Brooklyn's blood sugar before breakfast. If she's high, then I have to give her extra insulin with her meal. I then count how many carbs she is eating for breakfast and measure out her food. Then I do the math to figure out how much insulin she needs with her meal. (Amber spent an entire night teaching me how to do this, when it finally clicked in my head we were both so excited!)
10:00am - Snack
12:00 am - Lunch - Check her blood sugars again to see if she's in her target range. Count out her carbs for lunch. Do the math and give her another insulin shot.
3:00pm - Snack
5:00pm - Check her blood sugars. Count out carbs for dinner, do the math. Give insulin shot.
7:30pm - Bedtime
9:30pm- I check her blood sugars while she is asleep, and give her another insulin shot to last her through the night.
2:00am - Check blood sugars. If she is low, I have to wake her up and give her a juice, and re-check her in 15 minutes. If she is high I give her a dose of insulin.
The next day this all repeats over again. I feel like I have a newborn again with waking up in the middle of night, it's exsausting. Hopefully I can get used to waking up like this and not feel like I am dragging during the day.
I'm grateful that there is medicine out there for diabetics, I'm already noticing a change in Brooklyn. I've been told that she will be a new person and have the energy that a 7 year old is suppose to have. Her doctor believes that there will be a cure for diabetes in Brooklyn's lifetime. It was encouraging to hear that.
We spent an entire day in the E.R because there were no rooms in the hospital for her to be admitted.
I ordered Brooklyn this pillow pet for her birthday that is next week. I gave it to her early so she would have something to sqeeze with all the shots, she LOVES this pillow.
The play center was really nice, I think the both of us would have gone crazy sitting in the hospital room all day. We only had to go back to the room for meals and shots.
An art project that she made in the playcenter.
She loves all the colorful bandaides, it cheers her up.
Aunt Amber and Brooklyn.
Both of us miss her a lot. Yesteday was my first day on my own with everything, it was nice having Amber with me to double check everything I did, and it was just nice to have her there as my friend.
Amber made this darling sticker chart for Brooklyn, if Brooklyn does well with the shots during the day she gets a sticker. At the end of week she gets a prize. She also made my boys one, it's easy for them to feel left out with all the attention Brooklyn is getting.
Our family has been given so much service this past week, it's amazing to see how much people care. I'm grateful to be here in New Mexico right now, I am surrounded by so many people who would do anything for us.
