Brooklyn's baptism day

After Rich's graduation Brooklyn was baptized that evening. A day full of emotions! It was wonderful. She has been counting down the days of her baptism for almost a year. She's a good girl that try's hard to please me and her dad. I would have never thought that as a mother my kids would inspire me and want me to be better. She's such a example to me of wanting to be a better person. We love her very much. 

Her friend Ciel was also baptized yesterday. 

Grandma Evans gave her a majic mug that my kids think is the coolest thing ever. You fill it with hot water and pictures of Brooklyn appear. Friends and family were so kind to Brooklyn yesterday, I didn't take pictures of of all the baptism gifts she received,she felt very special yesterday. 

Her first pair of scriptures and carrying bag.

He did it!

Yesterday was a big day for our family. Rich graduated from P.A school. There were times that I felt like we would never get to this day. I'm so proud of him, he worked so incredibly hard for this degree. We raised a lot of eyebrows when Rich decided to get out of construction and pursue a career in the medical field. It has not been an easy two years on Rich or our family as he completed this degree. I think that's what made yesterday such a sweet experience.  We have grown a lot in our marriage as we have gone through the ups and downs of P.A school.  I'm so excited for this chapter of our lives to be over!

Brooklyn's day at the Albuquerque Temple

My friend Heather took these pictures of Brooklyn in her baptism dress at the Albuquerque temple. Brooklyn was lit up the entire time as we walked around the temple, she felt like a princess. Brooklyn will be baptized next Saturday, we are all so excited for her.  When we were at the temple taking pictures, I kept thinking the next time she'll be at the temple in a pretty white dress will be her wedding day. Her wedding day seems soooo far away, but these past 8 years of raising her as gone by way too quickly. I have a feeling that time will not slow down and she'll be grown up in a blink of an eye. 

Thank you Heather for taking these beautiful pictures.

Samantha is 2

My baby is two! I love this little girl, she is spunky, fun, has no fear and and can keep up with all her siblings.  

She's always into trouble these days, she is not the kind of little girl that will just sit and play with toys. She gets into everything that she knows she shouldn't. When it's time for diaper change or if I need to change her clothes, she'll go running the other direction. This little girl wears me out! We love her to pieces.

She LOVES icecream, so we did a cupcake baked in cone topped with coolwhip.
Coolwhip is my new favorite way to top cupcakes, 0 carbs for coolwhip.
Brooklyn and Blake always go high with the sweet sugaring frosting. 

Brooklyn turns 8

Happy Birthday to Brooklyn! We had a fun little weekend together. She had breakfast in bed on Friday morning(her actual birthday) then on Saturday we had soccer games and me and her headed to the mall to get her ears pierced. She has been looking forward to wearing earrings for so long! She didn't even make a peep when she got them done. After she got her ears pierced, she had a $5.00 dollar manicure. She loved that. Then we came home and had dinner and birthday cake. She requested a cheesecake with strawberries w/ whipped cream. After we ate, she changed into her baptism dress and my friend Heather took some pictures of her at the Albuquerque temple. She felt like a princess in her pretty white dress, she was glowing the entire time. She can hardly wait for her baptism day next month, she's getting baptized on Rich's gradation date. I'm not planning on wearing mascara that day:)

Time Out for Women

This weekend I was able to go to Time Out for Women for the first time.  The speakers were funny and entertaining and the music was so inspiring. I took away a lot from this conference and learned a lot. This conference couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I've been feeling completely overwhelmed with everything lately.  Rich is coming very close to graduation which is sooo exciting but at the same time it's been stressful as he prepares for his boards and searches for a job. Saying that Rich is stressed is a understatement. We are really hopeful that Idaho will be our home but still haven't had any job offers, so we've started searching for jobs all over. I didn't have the best attitude in the beginning about searching for jobs outside of Idaho, I want to be close to my family. I miss them a lot. Then to make things a little bit more challenging at a already stressful time Blake gets diagnosed with type 1 diabetes while I am in my first trimester of our 5th baby. So I was not feeling my best.

Surprise were pregnant! We are due September 17th. 

 To back track a little bit I remember coming home from my brother-in-laws funeral telling myself I would never complain about my life and my trivial problems ever again. The weight and responsibilities that my sister has raising her children without her husband made me feel like I could never complain again about anything. I quickly learned that it was really hard to not complain when things don't go our way. When I had a negative thought my mind quickly went to her and everything that she was going through, and sometimes I would be able to change that negative into a positive and sometimes I couldn't.  I'm also learning that my trials will never be as big and life changing as Holly's but they are still trials and they are still hard.  The words that were spoken at this conference felt like that were meant for me, and I felt and still feel so much peace that everything will work out. The Lord has a plan for our family, and it's hard not knowing what's going to happen and it may not be how I thought things would end up, but I now have faith that he will take care of us. He will not leave us jobless or homeless(which is a recurring dream I have) I  feel very at peace that if we don't end up near family it will be ok. He knows what's best for us.

Rich's last day of school is April 6th, 3 weeks left! I have dreamed about seeing him in his cap in gown for so long, I can't believe it's just around the corner. I have made friends here that I'll never forget and I'll miss a lot.  I'm so grateful to be here right now, we may not have fallen in love with New Mexico but it's been so worth being here so I could meet these wonderful ladies that I am so lucky to call my friends. 

We got our picture taken with Jenny Oaks Baker, she was just nominated for a Grammy. I have never heard someone play a violin like her, I could have stayed there all night listening to her play. It was awesome. We also got to hear Hilary Weeks sing and speak. I grew up listening to her as a youth, so it was neat to see her in person and enjoy her talents. 

On Friday night after the conference we all went to Route 66  diner for dessert but ended up splurging and getting a full meal. We ate and visited until almost midnight. So much fun!

One year ago today

 So, it's been one year ago today that Brooklyn was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  I feel like I've learned so much this past year but I am constantly still learning.  Brooklyn been a absolute trooper through all of this. She has her ups and down, someday's diabetes feels it's no big deal. And other days she absolutely HATES having to deal with this each and every day. I really don't blame her. I'm grateful that Brooklyn is open with me about her feelings and how she deals with all of this. She is a letter writer, she often leaves notes on my bed of what she's feeling. The other day she wrote me note saying she just wanted a break from diabetes, from all of it. I wish I could give her a break, or even take away this auto-immune disease. It always helps when we count her blessings, but at the same time I don't want to discount her feelings about her resenting this disease. We talk about how scientist are working on a cure right now. A artificial pancreases is being tested, and they are also currently working on finding a complete cure by implanting new Islet cells into the pancreas that will start producing insulin. Hearing about these studies that are going on gives our family hope and that someday Brooklyn can get her a permanent break from all of this.

Right now she's been pretty emotional with how other kids at school can eat and snack on food all they want. They don't have to count carbs, or have their food weighed and measured out. They don't have to go to the nurses room each day to get tested and bolused for their food. They don't have to deal with low and high blood sugars and the symptoms that come with it. She just wants to be like all the other kids and not have to worry about all these things.

She did get a pump last summer, what a blessing that has been. No more shots! She just has to change her site every 3 days, and that's almost painless.

Lately she has also felt very alone with having diabetes, she's the only kid in her school with it. She's not alone any more with Blake just getting diagnosed.  As much as I wish Blake didn't have to have struggle with this, it will be really nice for them to have this in common so they don't feel alone in this.

I often think about how grateful I am for insulin, and that it's available to me. Without it, Brooklyn and Blake would not be alive. One day there will be a cure for diabetes and I'm confident that Brooklyn and Blake will be able to be here to be apart of it. What a happy day that will be for our family and for everyone who has this auto-immune disease. Until then, we will keep doing what were doing. We are all happy and healthy, we have good days and bad and those bad days make us stronger I'm sure of it.

March 7th, 2011 in the E.R.
I remember we were in the E.R all night waiting for a room to become available.

A birthday I will always remember...

Yesterday Blake was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Not a great way to spend my birthday. On Thursday night he had his lab work done.  I laid awake all night, I could not sleep because in my gut I knew he had diabetes. The constant peeing every 10 minutes, always thirsty and hungry, belly aches and dry hands. On Thursday afternoon I checked his blood sugar with Brooklyn's meter he tested 244, I checked him two hours later he was 390. I checked for ketones, he had none so he wasn't in any immediate danger. The first person I called was my sister in law Amber, her son also has diabetes. She understands the worry and stress that comes with taking care of child with diabetes. She cried with me on the phone, because we both knew what this meant. I was trying to convince myself he did not have diabetes, I thought maybe it was just a fluke and he had two bad readings. The next morning  I met with Brooklyn's Endocrinologist to go over Blake's lab work that we had done the night before. The minute I walked in she hugged and me and I started crying again! She sat down with me and said he did in fact have diabetes. I kept thinking I shouldn't be this upset, I know how to manage diabetes.  But this time is different, now that I have taken care of Brooklyn's diabetes for almost 1 year I know how emotional and hard it is. It almost seemed worse this time. Taking care of 1 diabetic child can be really hard. The thought of having another child have this disease is overwhelming. I realize there are worse diagnoses then diabetes, but it's still a really challenging disease for a child and parent that you never get a break from.

When I picked up Brooklyn and Weston from school yesterday I was really sad.  Brooklyn asked what was wrong, and I told her. She looked at me, her eyes all watered up and said "Mom, the scientist have to find a cure for Blake, they don't need to give me the cure but Blake needs it. He's too little have to have diabetes".  I starting crying again, what a special little girl I have. The rest of the day, she kept trying to make me happy for my birthday. She said something else yesterday that made me smile, she said "Mom, I know how much work it is for you to take care of me, so I'm going to start making my own lunches in morning for school. I will measure my own food, count the carbs and write them on the post-note for the school nurse. I will learn how to change my own pump site too. Then you will only have to take care of Blake and not me." Tears again! 

So we are on day #2 with starting Blake on insulin shots, counting his carbs and him being a on a schedule of when he eats. It will be hard for a 4 year old, he is a snacker and loves to eat. He won't be able to just go grab something in the pantry anymore without asking. He has been pretty brave with the shots, not as emotional as Brooklyn when she was first diagnosed. So that's been nice. When I check Brooklyn's BG at 2:00am she sleeps right through it, I checked Blake's last night and he woke right up. Gosh, I hope he doesn't wake up everynight. It took him 10 minutes to decide between a "Cars" bandaide or "Toy Story".  I laid awake all night thinking about Blake and how the next few weeks will be for him with all the changes. It will be hard for him. He asked this morning when he can can get a pump like Brooklyn, I said not for a while. Brooklyn pipes in and said he can use mine! I will go back to shots:)

I miss the days where I could send my kids to bed and all of us could sleep through the night worry free. My sleep and Rich's sleep has not been the same for a year, the worry of Brooklyn and now Blake going low in the night makes sleep not as enjoyable and not as sound. 

It always helps me to count my blessings when I'm given challenges that seem too hard, I have been blessed with so much.  Blake will still be the happy goofy kid that adds so much personality to our family and Brooklyn will have a new diabetes buddy right at home, she's not alone in this anymore. It will be good for them to have eachother. 

Blake with his Rufas Diabetes Bear

Brooklyn teaching her little brother everything she knows.

Our Valentine's Day

We started off our Valentine's by doing Brooklyn's hair in this heart shaped pony tail.

While Brooklyn and Weston were at school having fun at their class parties, Blake and me made Valentine cookies.

When the kids got home from school Samantha found their chocolate and ate A LOT of it. There were lots of tears, next year the older kids will have to find better hiding spots for their candy. 

For dinner we made heart pizza's. 

At this point I was TIRED and ready to sit and eat my own pizza.

This first picture I asked all the kids to smile nice, Blake doesn't know how to do that. 

So I ask him again to give me nice smile, this is what I get. Sami thinks he's nuts.

I tried one more time, and this is the face he pulls. He is such a goof ball.
Rich ate his heart pizza late that night we he got home, he missed out on all the fun. We promised not to do gifts this year, he cheated a little and brought me home a Lemon sorbet from Coldstone. It was sweet of him. I'm very lucky to have him in my life.